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Forgive for Good
Download Ebook Forgive for Good
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Review
“Simply the best book on the subject.” (Michael Murphy, Co founder Esalen Institute Bestselling Author of Future of the Body, Golf in the Kingdom)“Forgive For Good is an accessible and practical guide to learning the power of forgiveness.” (John Gray, Ph.D., author ofMen Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus)“I have read many books about forgiveness; this one is by far the best.” (Rabbi Harold S. Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People)“A practical and readable book that is bound to be of great help.” (Lewis Smedes, bestselling author of Forgive and Forget)“...one of the most helpful, practical, scientifically documented, books on forgiveness that I have ever read.” (Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D., Author of Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All)“A remarkable and essential book that is sure to become the gold standard.“ (Kenneth Pelletier, Ph.D, M.D., Clinical Professor of Medicine, University of Maryland School of Medicine and University of Arizona and author of The Best Alternative Medicine: What Works? What Does Not?)“Good practical advice for a very difficult task.” (Booklist)“[A] solidly researched and convincing guide.” (Publishers Weekly)“Straightforward, sincere and essential, I recommend this book highly.” (Dave Pelzer, New York Times and International best-selling author of A Child Called It and Help Yourself)“Luskin has the potential to do for forgiveness what John Gray (”Mars and Venus”) did for relationships.” (Chicago Tribune)
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About the Author
Fred Luskin, Ph.D. is the author of Forgive for Good and one of the world's leading researchers and teachers on the subject of forgiveness. He is the director of the Stanford Forgiveness Project, a series of research projects that investigate forgiveness methods. He holds an appointment at the Stanford Center on Conflict and Negotiation as a senior fellow and is an associate professor at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. He lives in Palo Alto, California.
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Product details
Paperback: 240 pages
Publisher: HarperOne; Reprint edition (January 21, 2003)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 006251721X
ISBN-13: 978-0062517210
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.5 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
241 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#19,264 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
What Dr. Luskin does is actually give you a process, a technique for forgiving. If you've decided you'd like to stop feeling angry, hurt, frustrated or any of those negative emotions because you feel you've been a victim of someone (or even that you've disappointed and let yourself down), there's a methodology here to release those emotions. If you aren't willing to try these steps (and he lets you know you may need to repeat many times to abolish the old "spin cycle" of unforgiveness), then maybe you aren't ready to let go.What it doesn't do (and doesn't claim to do) is to keep the same person or situation from hurting you again. But Dr. Luskin does tell you that you are under no obligation to forget when you forgive, or even to remain in a relationship with that person.
This book is helpful. It gave me two metaphors that showed me the practical consequences of harboring grief, sadness and pain: One was that my grievances were like planes circling an airport not being able to land, and not allowing other planes to land. The second metaphor that worked was to make the analogy that each time we air grievances to ourselves, we are making a choice to "rent real estate" out of our living house, such as the master bedroom or deck. Understanding the consequences of one's own actions resulting from sadness and pain long in the past that will never change is compelling. I also had some insight that perhaps I had some OCD-like predelictions to making myself miserable just out of habit. It was easier to blame others than to be happy, something I have a hard time letting myself be.The author writes well but he is SO REPETITIOUS. I almost wondered if he did it to make sure that WE, the READER heard it enough times to GET IT. Even after we got it, the examples and the references and the guidance were repeated over and over again. See what I mean?In the second half, he writes about certain steps one should take to truly forgive with acronyms like "H-E-A-L" and "P-E-R-T". I couldn't bring myself to go through the reiterations of these models laid out by the author. Maybe I will go back and read them after a break from the book.Don't get me wrong. I feel it helped to know about the circling planes and the emotional real estate one gives up to painful experiences. I got that. If nothing else, the book and the author convinced me that my holding onto the painful experiences, sadness, anger and resentment didn't help me and furthermore, were not even known by the people that I held things against. Now, that's really silly, isn't it? To keep hurting myself or allowing myself to repeatedly feel hurt feelings but I was the only one, not the people who had hurt me? They had no idea and were enjoying their lives, apart from me. Go figure.I sort of knew all of this before I read the book anyhow. I didn't have the cute metaphors but I realized that I was hung up making myself suffer again for past grievances. Now, I've decided to let it go as much as I can, realizing no one else is suffering, just me.Hope this review is helpful to someone else trying to improve their outlook on life.
This is a great practical book to help those who have someone to forgive, and that it pretty much everyone. Dr. Luskin explains why we take things so hard and personally and gives practical suggestions on how to change yourself to have peace in your life. It does not change others. It changes you. I highly recommend it for those struggling with any kind of relationship problem.
I first read this book years ago and re-read parts every few years. It's by far one of my favorite self-help books, and I especially like the poignant stories to drive home the points. I've even bought copies for several family and friends to also help them. The key advice that's stuck in my head is that holding grudges doesn't do anything to hurt the other person... it only hurts you. This valuable tip has helped me again and again, thus making me less angry, more accepting, more centered, and consequently free of unecessary anguish. I've even gone to hear Dr. Luskin speak. I highly recommend reading this book (at least once) and embracing its concepts.
This is by far the best book on forgiveness that I have ever read. When you are ready to forgive (let go of the affect that the injury (emotional, physical or spiritual) has had on you, I highly recommend the practical solutions in this book. This has nothing to do with excusing someone's unacceptable behavior & welcoming them into your life again. This book is about your response to what happened to you and how to manage your response so that you can have a less stressful & a better quality of life.
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